Personal Finance (Not Investing) • Life Crossroads - advice request

For what it’s worth, I was borne in MI. My Dad’s brother moved to Vermont in the 1960’s following the riots and burning in Detroit. He convinced my dad to follow him, and I grew up in VT 20 minutes from my Uncle and cousins. It was great growing up in VT. But, truth be told, I saw my relatives on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and 4th of July. Not that much in between. Families are busy and have their own lives. It takes an effort to keep up in between. I had an elder relative move to be close to me in DC - and was often hard to see or have her to dinner once a week. Unless you’re thinking about a cohabitation situation or living on the same block, it’s likely to be major holidays and celebrations. Those are pretty easily handled by travel- and gifting the grandparents tickets to come down for more regular visits. Being “closer” even if it’s a few hours away probably makes no difference vs where you are now.

Well at least proximity makes holidays possible.

Growing up, one side of my family was local. Saw those grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc at most major holidays for many years growing up, until parts of that side of the family spread out geographically in recent years. Other side of my family was a plane ride or 12+ hour drive away, and not all in exactly the same direction. Saw those people a few times in my life (I'm over 50), and barely got to know them. Saw some of the far away cousins while they were in town for a funeral recently, we got along famously, and I sure sure wish there'd been more of a chance to know each other through life. Missed the chance to really get to know grandparents, aunts, and uncles who've now passed on. Might be another decade before I see the cousins I reunited with recently in person again, if we're all still alive then.

Distance is a significant barrier in seeing people regularly, there are only so many vacations per year to spread amongst relatives, and health issues can crop up and make travel difficult for some. OP and wife and kids have been seeing the in-laws yearly from the sounds of it, and their budget can support a lot more travel than my family's could growing up, so it's certainly less extreme than my example/experience. But it's pretty hard to build and maintain a deep relationship with a group of relatives that are a plane ride away.

Statistics: Posted by clip651 — Sun Sep 08, 2024 10:27 pm — Replies 59 — Views 3560

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